2009: The Year in Retrospect

2009 was a tough year for me. Was it tough for you, too?

It seems that every year brings its own challenges and this past year has challenged me at every turn. I went though a five-month engagement, a rough breakup, and the roughest emotional fallout resulting from it. It shattered my confidence and shook my soul. I went from the heights of romantic love to the depths of depression in the span of six months and I'm only now starting to look forward and not back. This year has also brought a tough period of waiting while I sought the will of God for my life and ministry. My heart deeply longs to be anywhere but here. However, my circumstances seem to be keeping me here, leading to a great rift inside of me. I want to go but I cannot. Seems the reality of making a living has a way to ruin even the loftiest of dreams...

So 2009 is ending on a bit of a downer for me, to be quite honest. I'm really glad a new year starts in a few hours. I need a new one. Do you?

You know, I have found that there are times in every person's life in which they must go through great trial to test their character and their faith. Why God allows us (or leads us) to these periods is a mystery to me but I do know that He works all things for good to those who are His (Romans 8). That doesn't mean everything will be roses in every situation but that God will, somehow, bring something good out of circumstances that seem hopelessly bad. I'm reminded of Joseph's situation in Genesis. He was abused by, sold by, and forgotten by his brothers. He spent months (maybe years) in prison, was forced to endure great hardship, and yet after God exalted him to political power Joseph told his now-penitent brothers: "What you intended for evil, God intended for good."

As I look back on my rough year, I can see clearly that the Holy Spirit's work through the Scriptures helped me get through my trials. Certain passages kept coming to my mind all year, guiding me, calming me, and strengthening me. I'd like to share a few with you. These came to mind at various points of the year just when I needed to be reminded of them.

-- "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28) I relied heavily on our Lord's promise this year. This verse was never far from mind in the weeks after my breakup. I have recently recalled it in the midst of a stressful holiday work schedule.

-- "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. " (Lamentations 3:22-25) This passage has been one of my favorites for years, never more so than this year. To think that I can go to sleep on my troubles and wake up with a fresh mind and even more grace from God. I love the opening lines to that song, "Mighty to Save," which say, "Everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing... let mercy fall on me." I feel that same sentiment every day. And His mercy falls on me every day! How amazing.

-- "Blessed are the meek (gentle), for they shall inherit the earth." (Matt 5:5) I needed to be reminded of this constantly because it not only is counter-cultural but counter-nature. The meek inherit the earth and not the powerful. In following the mindset of Jesus (Phil 2:5-9), I needed to humble myself often this year. Ego is easy. Humility is hard.

-- "Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. [There is] one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all." (Ephesians 4:1-6) I found myself upset a lot last year over "name calling" or "labeling" by pastors near and far. It seemed that even those I look up to most are capable of dividing the body over theology or ecclesiology. There is one body, though that body is scattered in many churches. Some are Reformed. Some are Pentecostal. Some are Free Grace. All are one body and fellowship should not be denied. So I resolved to myself and the Lord this year to be more accepting of brethren that disagree with the finer points of my theology and fellowship with them in the joy of the Holy Spirit. It's not easy (for I believe I'm right, of course!) but absolutely necessary.

-- "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom 8:1) I clung to this verse over and over again whenever I slipped up in sin and self-pity (which was often). I hold to this verse as a life foundation and assurance of God's love and grace.

-- "First of all, then, I urge that entreaties [and] prayers, petitions [and] thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior..." (1 Timothy 2:1-3) I used this verse along with Romans 13:1ff whenever I thought of the relationship of Church and government. I want President Obama to succeed and be blessed just as I want America to succeed and be blessed by God. I pray he governs wisely and learns how to reject bad advice int he search for wisdom. I thank God for him and pray for his family. And his faith. Why pray for government? So that I may live the type of life every believer should seek: quiet and tranquil. You cannot get more counter-cultural than that!

I cannot over emphasize the importance of God's word in our daily lives. As we explore His scriptures and hide His word in our hearts, the Holy Spirit will use that same word to speak to us in our various life situations. I knew this was true and had experienced it before, but this year it meant more to me than ever before.

I pray that the Holy Spirit may minister to you in the same way in 2010.

Be God's and Happy New Year!

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Recalling the Old Fashioned Holidays

On the first day of Christmas....

Ever wonder what the first day of Christmas was? When I was young, I used to think the 12 days of Christmas were like a countdown to Christmas Day, with Christmas Eve being the first day of Christmas (to me, Christmas Day didn't count because it was Christmas itself).

As a student of Church history, however, I discovered that the song "12 Days of Christmas" didn't refer to before the holiday but after. Christmas Day was the first day of Christmas and the days ran to January 6th. Turns out that January 6th is a holiday that many Protestant churches have tossed out: the Feast of Epiphany. It celebrates the arrival of the magi at Bethlehem. In the ancient church, that period between the two Christmas holidays was a period of celebration, forever memorialized as "The 12 Days of Christmas." Interesting, huh?

There are many holidays of the Old Church that are fun and festive but I find that a lot of Protestant folks are hesitant to observe them. Epiphany is one of those days. Ironically, before Christmas was celebrated on December 25th, it was celebrated on January 6th. Why? Well, no one knows exactly when Jesus was born so setting a date was difficult for early Church leaders. Easter was certain because it came during the Jewish Passover, which was set by the spring moon cycle. But Christmas was more of a mystery. So eventually, I think it was in the 3rd or 4th Century, a date was set to remember the nativity events. Our modern Christmas date comes from an attempt to seize control of a pagan winter solstice holiday and claim it for Christ.

Another great holiday of old was the Feast of St. Stephen, which fell the day after Christmas, Dec. 26th. In jolly old England, it was a day for benevolence. The wealthy would take their leftovers (food and clothing) and give them to the poor. In the Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas," the events the song describes fell on this day, when a rich king decided to bless a cold, poor man. In England today it's called "Boxing Day" because the rich would box up their goodies for donation.

Another great Christmas holiday is the Feast of St. Nicholas, which falls every year on December 6th (the day he died). In the decades after the death of the real St. Nick in the 300s, people began spreading a tradition of giving gifts to the poor on the death day of St. Nicholas. So in the the middle ages, our modern Christmas traditions were split between two or three dates: gift giving on Dec. 6th, the nativity on Dec. 25th and the wise men on Jan. 6th. A month of Christmas!

I love to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, keeping my Christmas decorations up through January 6th. (I've become more of an orthodox fellow the older I've grown, so this shouldn't be too surprising) My neighbors take their stuff down soon after Christmas (even my church) but I want to keep Christmas on the brain longer just like the saints of old. So if you drive by my house in the next 12 days, know that my Christmas lights will be on and stockings will be hung by my chimney with care.

Christmas is just beginning, after all!

Merry Christmas!

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Christmas Fun

When I went to bed last night, I knew I'd be waking up to a white Christmas but I didn't realize how much fun it could be. Take a look at some inside, top-secret holiday movies...





I hope your family had the chance to enjoy a little Christmas fun today, whether it was 70 degrees or 7 below. We Newtons sure had a blast!

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Tis the Night Before Christmas

Well, my Christmas is over. Work-wise, that is. We had two services at the church tonight and I put in my 12 hour day preparing for and executing the technical and communications aspects of those services. It was quite a chore. Now I get to rest for a few days before beginning the January grind. I've really needed this rest. (That being said, I DID shamefully bring work home to do! But I can do it at MY pace this time.). The whole concept of rest (both biblically and in reality) has been on the forefront of my mind and heart this year. I'm just plain burned out.

Christmas did me in this time. No, not the holiday itself but, instead, the church ministry that revolves around the busy month of December. There is A LOT going on this month! And I found myself working 12-hour days every week and sacrificing off days for the sake of getting work done. It was exhausting. And now fatigue has caught up with me.

You know, Christmas has always been a wonderful time for me, my most special time of the year. But as I've grown older and dived head-first into church ministry I've found that my enjoyment of the season has changed. It's sad, really. I no longer find Christmas relaxing and fun. I used to love to see the beauty of garland and bows but now I'm too busy to truly enjoy it. People start taking down their decorations just when I am finally able to take a break and celebrate Christmas — AFTER the holiday. I'm sorry for my cynicism and grumbling tone. I meant to leave them in the car on my way home. But Christmas is work for me now and stress kills the spirit. Stress always kills the spirit, doesn't it?

I've found through two churches and eight years of church ministry that December is a busy month. We have concerts, banquets, programs and worship services. The services are major events, since Christmas Eve and Easter are the two highest-attended days of the church year. If not for snow and ice here in North Texas, I imagine we would've had over 2,000 people flooding our hallways tonight. Those are precious, valuable souls — some of whom may finally "get" the Gospel message this time. So doing everything I can to help them is very important. And I enjoy doing everything I can, even if it exhausts me.

Ministry is worth it, though it seems that ministers are always on the edge of burnout. We have high-stress jobs, whether counseling, teaching kids, or creating art. Please pray for us all. Christmas is exhausting. And we need rest.

So on this night before Christmas, as I use my last bit of energy to type and spell, I am finally able to rest. Soon I'll be sleeping, and tomorrow awaken to the sight of a white Christmas — an event very rare in North Texas. Maybe I'll make a snowman. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just enjoy being with my family and leave work behind for a day. I hope your Christmas Day is a blessing to you and a time of joy... and rest.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

— Brother John

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Turning 33

Well, today is my birthday. December 16. It's my 33rd such birthday and a day of great reflection. The older I get, the more reflective birthdays tend to be for me. How about you? I just can't stop thinking about how I got to be 33. How did this happen!??? I'm very thankful for my 33 years but I guess I never prepared myself for turning this age (Or any age, for that matter).

I posted on Facebook today that 33 is a strange age. What I mean by that is this: at 33 I'm neither young nor old, established or shaky. I just... am. I once again find myself in a "tween" category of life, where I'm nowhere close to college yet nowhere close to middle age. Gee, I guess you could say that I'm really close to "nowhere"! That's seems strange to me. I'll get over it when I'm 34, I'm sure...

When I was 22, I had specific hopes and ideals for my life. I wanted to be here or there, doing this or that, with this or that accompanying me on this life journey. I realize now how foolish I was to expect my life to follow any specific path, for none of us chooses our specific paths of life. It's not our job! It's God's job. Sure we make decisions and those decisions shape our journeys, but doors open and close not at our command but God's. He alone is the keeper of time and space. He alone can see the finish line of each of our lives (read Psalm 139:15-16). And He alone can wisely direct our steps — every time.


So as I look back on my 33 years and reflect this day, I can see God's hand guiding me to where I am. I never expected to (nor wanted to) end up 33, single, working at a church and financially scraping by in relative obscurity. At 22, I was going to be famous! The evening news! (see 1998 photo at right) Or ESPN! Top 20 records! But I'm glad I'm not 33 and famous.

I'm so very glad that God took me through the peaks and the valleys of life for 11 years because He taught me so much during that journey (and still is teaching me). There was a lot of pain. There was a lot of learning. And there was a lot of fight in my bones. But my faith is stronger. My humility deeper. Indeed, my knowledge of how faith and life interact has been shaped by my experiences.

At 33, I'm thankful. I know that God has more plans for me, though He has chosen not to reveal the timing of those plans. I don't know where and I don't know when. It can get frustrating and I can shake my fist at the sky but when the storm is over I know that the same God who guided me through the past 11 years — nigh, the past 33 years — will be with me in the next 33 years as well. He got me to 33. Why can't He get me to 66?

Count your blessings, self. And praise the Lord your God for number 33.

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The Night Before Christmas

It's been a hectic month for me so far, with my workload at the church magnified by the holiday season. I haven't even had time to blog a few words! In fact, the theme of rest has come to the top of my mind lately. I'm badly in need of rest for body, soul and mind. But not until Christmas is passed!

Speaking of moments of peace, a week ago one of my coworkers came up to me and asked me to scan images from a book he was using during a banquet. The book was a holiday classic: "The Night Before Christmas." It was a beautifully illustrated publication that recaptured my fancy. I became a 6-year-old again and started reading: "Twas the night before Christmas and all though the house..." I slowly scanned the pages. "What amazing poetry!" I thought. Well written and imaginative, I thought of all the great narrations I have heard of this poem through the years. In my mind, I imagined Burl Ives reading this lyric in his best storyteller mode. But it had been years since I had heard the Christmas classic, so I thought the world needed another "Night Before Christmas" fix. And so I asked a friend of mine, George Beach, to read the story into a microphone, using his best narrator's voice. George seems to be just discovering that his voice, which he calls "hick," is actually a treasure and not something shameful. He has a deep Southern drawl with a gravely texture that instantly sends your mind and heart into a really good Western, or maybe into an old-fashioned country ball. I could listen to George speak for hours.

Alas, dear friends, I have decided to share with you only three minutes. It's the entire poem, which I have put with the illustrations I scanned. I hope you enjoy it! Get ready... for a really cool Christmas tale...




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