Growing Old

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Jesus said (to Peter), "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." (John 21:17-18)

Jesus warned Peter that getting old wasn't going to be easy. That he would find himself imprisoned as an older man, forced to do things he didn't want to do and being led where he didn't want to go. As an older man, he wouldn't be able to exert his free will like he used to do. He wouldn't even be able to dress himself any more.

Growing old is tough. As I have watched my grandparents get older, it has been difficult on my emotions. For my memories are not of older individuals, but folks in the prime of life. My mom's dad was 51 when I was born. Her mom was in her upper 40's. Not old at all! Yet they are both in their 80's now and not quite so strong and able. Both have battled cancer. But both are still of sharp mind, which is a blessing. My other grandmother is 86 and lives in assisted living. She still has a driver's license, which scares us, but mainly uses a walker to get around.

My fiancee's grandmother, however, is not as well off. A tender, wonderful woman of 93, she resides in an assisted living facility here in town, where she receives care 24/7. Stripped of her hearing and her sight by time and trial, she needs help to move, eat, dress, and hear. Yesterday, she was treated to a special Mother's Day lunch by her daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter. As I watched her eat in the restaurant, my heart broke for the woman. She struggled to eat, drink and understand what was going on around her. Her daughter, my future mother-in-law, had to help her with her food (she couldn't see her fork or the pieces of prime rib on her plate very well). The glass of lemonade seemed heavy, full and burdensome.

It once again dawned on me that once we reach a certain age, we start to regress in ability, not the other way around. If evolution is true, each generation of the human race would be able to keep its faculties longer than the previous one. And improvements in motor skills would continue into our 50's and 60's and 70's. After all, we are evolving into a higher life form, right?

But our bodies are not evolving into a higher form. They are breaking down. And the longer we live, the less able we are. I read a statistic once that said the human body reaches its cellular maturity in the late teenage years. From the age of 18 or 19 until we die, our bodies are gradually deteriorating. Our cells become more susceptible to disease and our muscles to fatigue. That's just the way it is. I'm a young 32 and I can already feel it in my own body.

Saint Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:2-3 that our bodies are sick of breaking down. They are "groaning" for that which never breaks; cells that never lose their chemistry and muscles that never ache. And we'll get that new imperishable body -- after this one dies! For it must die. We must get old, if we're allowed to.

And children become parents of their parents who have become like children. Not in immaturity but in ability. This is the way of life. And it is another reason why I want my heart and my faith to be growing young, so that even as my body wastes away my heart and mind remain tuned to the wonderful Creator who once made me and who will one day re-make me.

And I'll be forever young.

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