2009 was a tough year for me. Was it tough for you, too?
It seems that every year brings its own challenges and this past year has challenged me at every turn. I went though a five-month engagement, a rough breakup, and the roughest emotional fallout resulting from it. It shattered my confidence and shook my soul. I went from the heights of romantic love to the depths of depression in the span of six months and I'm only now starting to look forward and not back. This year has also brought a tough period of waiting while I sought the will of God for my life and ministry. My heart deeply longs to be anywhere but here. However, my circumstances seem to be keeping me here, leading to a great rift inside of me. I want to go but I cannot. Seems the reality of making a living has a way to ruin even the loftiest of dreams...
So 2009 is ending on a bit of a downer for me, to be quite honest. I'm really glad a new year starts in a few hours. I need a new one. Do you?
You know, I have found that there are times in every person's life in which they must go through great trial to test their character and their faith. Why God allows us (or leads us) to these periods is a mystery to me but I do know that He works all things for good to those who are His (Romans 8). That doesn't mean everything will be roses in every situation but that God will, somehow, bring something good out of circumstances that seem hopelessly bad. I'm reminded of Joseph's situation in Genesis. He was abused by, sold by, and forgotten by his brothers. He spent months (maybe years) in prison, was forced to endure great hardship, and yet after God exalted him to political power Joseph told his now-penitent brothers: "What you intended for evil, God intended for good."
As I look back on my rough year, I can see clearly that the Holy Spirit's work through the Scriptures helped me get through my trials. Certain passages kept coming to my mind all year, guiding me, calming me, and strengthening me. I'd like to share a few with you. These came to mind at various points of the year just when I needed to be reminded of them.
-- "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28) I relied heavily on our Lord's promise this year. This verse was never far from mind in the weeks after my breakup. I have recently recalled it in the midst of a stressful holiday work schedule.
-- "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. " (Lamentations 3:22-25) This passage has been one of my favorites for years, never more so than this year. To think that I can go to sleep on my troubles and wake up with a fresh mind and even more grace from God. I love the opening lines to that song, "Mighty to Save," which say, "Everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing... let mercy fall on me." I feel that same sentiment every day. And His mercy falls on me every day! How amazing.
-- "Blessed are the meek (gentle), for they shall inherit the earth." (Matt 5:5) I needed to be reminded of this constantly because it not only is counter-cultural but counter-nature. The meek inherit the earth and not the powerful. In following the mindset of Jesus (Phil 2:5-9), I needed to humble myself often this year. Ego is easy. Humility is hard.
-- "Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. [There is] one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all." (Ephesians 4:1-6) I found myself upset a lot last year over "name calling" or "labeling" by pastors near and far. It seemed that even those I look up to most are capable of dividing the body over theology or ecclesiology. There is one body, though that body is scattered in many churches. Some are Reformed. Some are Pentecostal. Some are Free Grace. All are one body and fellowship should not be denied. So I resolved to myself and the Lord this year to be more accepting of brethren that disagree with the finer points of my theology and fellowship with them in the joy of the Holy Spirit. It's not easy (for I believe I'm right, of course!) but absolutely necessary.
-- "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom 8:1) I clung to this verse over and over again whenever I slipped up in sin and self-pity (which was often). I hold to this verse as a life foundation and assurance of God's love and grace.
-- "First of all, then, I urge that entreaties [and] prayers, petitions [and] thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior..." (1 Timothy 2:1-3) I used this verse along with Romans 13:1ff whenever I thought of the relationship of Church and government. I want President Obama to succeed and be blessed just as I want America to succeed and be blessed by God. I pray he governs wisely and learns how to reject bad advice int he search for wisdom. I thank God for him and pray for his family. And his faith. Why pray for government? So that I may live the type of life every believer should seek: quiet and tranquil. You cannot get more counter-cultural than that!
I cannot over emphasize the importance of God's word in our daily lives. As we explore His scriptures and hide His word in our hearts, the Holy Spirit will use that same word to speak to us in our various life situations. I knew this was true and had experienced it before, but this year it meant more to me than ever before.
I pray that the Holy Spirit may minister to you in the same way in 2010.
Be God's and Happy New Year!
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